But I Hate Pink

Seven years into our marriage, the media dug up my singer husband Jax's private Instagram account. It was a digital shrine to his love life, filled with daily updates.

My wife looked so cute in her pink sweater today!

Wrote her a new song. She loves it!

Gave her a pink diamond ring. Her smile lights up my world. My girl gets everything she desires!

"Second day post-concert...missing her already."

Tabloids had a field day: "Notoriously Arrogant Singer Is a Total Simp in Private!"

My best friend Chloe forwarded the articles, gushing, "You're so lucky! He's obsessed with you!"

A bitter laugh escaped me.?I don't own a single pink sweater. And that breathtaking pink diamond? Never seen it.

I hated pink.

I did wear pink once. A long time ago.

It was during my pursuit of Jax. Everyone said he liked innocent, girly types.

So I bought a pink dress for our Christmas meet-up, burying my own dislike for the color.

That night, a heavy snow fell. I waited outside his studio, freezing.

Half an hour late, Jax finally showed up. He took one look at me and smirked.

"Rowan, you look like a pink pig."

Laughter erupted around him. I fled, the heat of humiliation searing through the winter chill.

After that, I never wore pink again.

My phone buzzed with Chloe's awkward attempt to smooth things over.

"Don't overthink it, Rowan."

"Maybe he says he dislikes it, but secretly loves it."

"We all know what kind of guy Jax is."

She was right.

In college, Jax was infamous for his sharp tongue and icy glare.

My roommate put it best. "He's gorgeous, but it's a shame he ever opens his mouth."

He tore into every girl who liked him. Except me.

He mocked my clothes, my food, my mere existence beside him.

Yet, at a class reunion, when I sat hidden in a corner, it was him who coolly beckoned me over.

"Hey, come sit here."

Later, he became a superstar.

At his first sold-out concert, he sang an entire love song, his gaze fixed squarely in my direction.

Then the camera found him. His face, impossibly handsome and utterly serious, filled the screen.

"Everyone, meet the leading lady of my life."

Lights flashed. The crowd screamed. And through it all, he was smiling at me.

Backstage, Jax's manager tore into him.

"Are you trying to throw away your career? Your fans?"

Leaning against the wall, Jax just smiled.

"You don't get it. My girlfriend's the dramatic type. If I didn't make a big show of it, she'd have made a scene later."

The fallout was real. His career stalled for years.

It only revived last year, when a new song swept the awards.

However, the person who presented him with the award was a friend who used to be far less successful than him.

That guy had dumped his girlfriend of ten years for his career, then shot to stardom.

So, a reporter asked Jax if he regretted his public declaration back then.

"No regrets."

Jax showed off the necklace on his collarbone to the camera.

It was a birthday gift I'd bought him after delivering takeout for five months straight.

He once said that necklace was more precious than any trophy.

But in his latest faceless selfie from his private account.

The necklace on his neck had been replaced with a pink Hello Kitty cartoon pendant.

He used to say that thing was too childish.

Yet now.

He practically gloated.

"Got matching necklaces with my wife!"

I sat in the living room all night.

Scrolling through his private Ins posts, over and over again.

He said her desserts were delicious.

Meanwhile, the cake I'd spent all morning baking for him, he just glanced at it before tossing it into the trash right in front of me.

He praised her as lively, outgoing, and good at socializing.

But if I so much as talked to someone for a few minutes, he'd sneer, "Gotta make everything about you, huh?"

He meticulously prepared gifts for her, for their first day, first week, first month together.

A man known for his impatience would spend an entire day at a crafting table.

"Just thinking about my wife's face when she gets the gift makes me happy! Her eyes all sparkly and cute, she's adorable!"

Today was my thirtieth birthday.

Jax hadn't even come home.

I waited for him until midnight, then finally couldn't resist calling him.

It took a long time for him to answer.

The music was blasting on his end, loud enough to burst eardrums, and the laughter of men and women was a chaotic mix.

"I told you I'm busy, can you please stop bothering me?!"

"Huh? It's your birthday today?"

"...I forgot."

I silently opened his private account.

Ten minutes ago, he'd posted.

"Don't want to go home."

Jax finally came home when it was almost dawn.

The sound of the door opening.

A mix of alcohol and heavy perfume hit me.

Then I saw him, leaning against the doorframe.

He was typing on his phone. Noticing the living room light, he glanced at me, then lowered his head back to his screen.

"Not asleep yet?"

"No."

Jax replied with an indifferent "Oh," still focused on his phone. The person on the other end must have said something funny, as he instinctively flashed a helpless smile.

I just sat on the couch, watching him quietly.

After about three to five minutes, Jax finally realized I hadn't left.

He put away his phone, rubbed his nose, and frowned, looking up at me.

"Still not going to bed?"

"I..."

"Perfect."

He cut me off, sat down next to me, and naturally ordered,

"Go make me some tea."

To protect Jax's voice, I'd specifically learned to make many different kinds of herbal tea.

Jax always said they tasted awful, but he'd still drink them, frowning all the while.

But not this time.

I brought him the tea, he took a sip, then immediately poured the entire cup into a potted plant.

"Ugh, your cooking is really getting worse."

The burn blister on my finger throbbed with a searing pain.

I kept my head down, not saying a word.

Then I remembered what he'd written on his private account.

"My wife burned dinner today, but I still ate it all up!"

Suddenly, I found it all incredibly tedious.

"I'm going back to my room."

"Hey!"

Jax called out from behind me.

I turned around.

A palm-sized box hit my chest.

I instinctively gasped.

He frowned, a little annoyed, then turned his head away.

"Happy Birthday."

Inside the box was the same cartoon pendant he wore.

A goofy-looking plush bear, grinning widely.

"See? I told you that person on his private account was you."

Chloe came to see me the next day.

She saw the pendant and confidently tried to reassure me.

"If Jax really didn't like you, why would he stay with you for so many years? Look at his staff, there isn't a single woman among them."

I couldn't argue.

But a woman's intuition always told me something was off.

Like that childish and exaggerated cartoon pendant hanging on a silk pajama shirt.

It just didn't fit, no matter how I looked at it.

Chloe sighed, seeing my expression.

"How about this? You call him right now? No, that's not a good idea."

I almost instinctively refused.

Jax absolutely hated me checking up on him.

There were times when I'd been uneasy and called him a few times before.

Every time, it ended in a huge fight.

He'd say I didn't trust him, that I was bothering his work.

Once, he even smashed a glass in front of a whole room of people and called me crazy.

Chloe held her phone up to me.

On the screen was one of Jax's posts.

"My wife is checking up on me again! "

"Such a silly girl, she just doesn't believe I love her."

"But I really love how she gets all flustered and overthinks for me."

"Praying my wife checks up on me every single day."

The comment section was filled with "OMG, my heart!"

I hesitated, then took the phone and dialed Jax's number.

It rang once and was immediately picked up.

Jax's tone wasn't exactly warm, but he didn't hang up immediately when I asked what he was doing.

"Playing tennis with Liam, my assistant."

The sound of a tennis ball hitting the ground echoed from the other end of the line.

Jax loved sports; he always set aside two or three days a week to play.

Liam, his assistant, was someone I knew.

A recent college graduate, with a clean background and a normal orientation.

I awkwardly said, "Oh."

Jax's sneer came through the phone.

"Still don't trust me? Why don't you come see for yourself?"

I quickly declined.

"No, that's okay."

My tennis skills weren't great, and Jax played super aggressively, no holds barred.

He'd absolutely crushed me with his serves a few times on the court.

So I wasn't eager to join in the fun.

Jax gave a cold laugh on the other end.

"Oh, by the way, I won't be home tonight."

My concern for him was almost instinctive.

"Is Liam with you?"

Jax mumbled evasively.

"Then tell Liam to be careful, your throat needs to drink..."

"Alright. I need to play now."

Jax impatiently hung up before I could finish.

Chloe looked at me, quite amused.

"Happy now? Even if Jax did cheat, it wouldn't be with Liam."

I forced a smile. Something still didn't add up.

I attributed it to worrying about Jax being away.

After all, Jax, the big shot, always focused on his art and ignored practical matters, so all the household chores fell to me.

I washed his underwear and socks, cooked him three meals a day.

During the most exhausting times, I'd work two jobs a day and still come home to clean up his takeout containers left on the dining table.

Chloe even joked that I was practically his mother.

But when you love someone, you inevitably give more.

I wrote a long list of instructions and sent them to Liam.

Thinking he was with Jax playing tennis, I specifically added.

"No rush, you can read it after you finish playing."

Liam's call came through the next second.

"Didn't Jax tell you? I quit being his assistant two years ago."