The Heart They Took, The Heart They Gave

On a New Year's Day, Mom held my hand and led me out of the orphanage.

At that time, I was five years old.

She said from now on, my birthday would be January 1st.

Every year, we'll celebrate your birthday with you and help you make one birthday wish come true.

I nodded hard.

Back then, I didn't understand that every wish I made, Mom would take something from me.

At six, I wished to see fireworks, and my bone marrow was taken.

At seven, I wished for a doll, and a kidney was removed.

At eight, I wished for cake, and a lobe of my liver was cut out.

This year, I was ten.

Mom looked at me gently in the candlelight.

"Willow, make a wish."

In the flickering candlelight, I closed my eyes.

My only wish this year was that Mom wouldn't take anything else from me.

...

Outside the window, fireworks sparkled in Moms gentle eyes. She softly asked,

"What did you wish for this year, Willow?"

I looked into her eyes, where I saw the warmth I had longed for all year.

I carefully leaned closer and whispered,

"I wished that you would love me forever, Mom."

Mom's expression froze for a second. Then, she opened her arms and pulled me into a tight embrace.

The hug was so tight I could barely breathe.

She smelled faintly of perfume. My cheek pressed against her soft sweater, and my eyes immediately welled up.

"Silly child," Mom's voice came from above my head, with a hint of a laugh. "Of course I love you. As long as you're good, as long as Ava can live, Ill love you forever."

I nodded vigorously, my tears soaking into her sweater.

Mom only hugged me on my birthday when I made a wish, so this was the hug I had waited an entire year for.

I reached out my thin arms, wanting to hug her back, but Mom pulled away first.

She cupped my face in her hands, her thumb wiping away my tears.

"You're such a sensible girl. So, Ill grant your wish, and you grant mine, okay? Just help Ava one more time, sweetie."

I nodded.

It was always like this. I was used to it.

"Ava's heart is getting worse," Mom's voice remained gentle. "The doctor said she needs a healthy heart. Are you willing to give your heart to her?"

"Tomorrow, Mom will take you to the hospital for a compatibility test. If its a match, Ava can live. Willow wants Ava to live, too, right?"

I looked into her expectant eyes, at the gentle smile on her lips.

"Okay," I said.

Mom's smile instantly brightened. She hugged me again, this time quickly and lightly.

"I knew Willow was the best girl."

As she stood up to cut the cake, the living room door suddenly burst open.

Ava, my older sister, walked in, bundled in a thick winter coat. Her cheeks were red from the cold wind, but her eyes sparkled brightly.

"Mom! The countdown event has started at the plaza! Elara said she can take us to the front to watch the fireworks show!"

Mom immediately put down the cake knife and went to Ava, brushing the snowflakes off her shoulder.

"Slow down, sweetie, don't choke on the cold air. It's so cold outside; how about we go after your surgery?"

"But I want to go!" Ava tugged on Mom's hand, whining playfully. "It's only once a year! And the doctor said I'm stable right now"

Mom glanced at me, then back at Ava's eagerly anticipating face.

The glance was so brief, I couldn't read the emotion in it.

"Alright, alright, but just for a little while. You can't get tired."

Mom's tone held a pampering affection I'd never heard before. Then she turned to me.

"Willow, you have your compatibility test at the hospital tomorrow. Get some rest tonight, so you won't go."

I opened my mouth, wanting to say I wanted to see the fireworks too, a real fireworks display.

Mom had promised me when I was six; I still remembered her smiling and saying,

"Of course, after you help your sister, Mom will take you."

But after I donated my bone marrow on the operating table, Mom just patted my head and said,

"We'll see the fireworks next time; Ava can't wait."

But the words caught in my throat, and I swallowed them back down.

Mom was already leading Ava to the door, without looking back.

"Willow, don't eat anything after the cake. You need to fast tomorrow."

The door closed.

I stood there, still holding the piece of cake Mom had given me earlier.

The living room fell silent, save for the noisy New Year's Eve special on TV. The host was excitedly counting down:

"Ten more minutes! The New Year is almost here!"

I carried my cake and slowly walked back to my small room.

The storage room had no windows. I sat on my little bed, eating the cake in tiny bites.

It was sweet.

Bitterly sweet.

I suddenly remembered that night when I was seven, after the kidney transplant surgery.

The anesthetic had worn off, and the wound burned like fire.

I cried for Mom. A nurse came in, looked at me, and said Mom was in Ava's room because Ava had a nightmare.

That night, I counted the cracks in the ceiling. When I reached three hundred twenty-seven, the sky turned light.

At eight, after the liver surgery, I vomited until I was dizzy.

Mom came into the room for a quick look, frowning as she told the nurse,

"Why is her reaction so strong? It won't affect the liver's quality, will it?"

She didn't ask if I was in pain. She didn't ask if I was scared.

She only cared about the organ that was no longer in my body, whether *it* was okay.

The cake was quickly finished, but a sharper emptiness and pain gnawed at my stomach.

Since that afternoon, I had only eaten this small piece of cake.

Mom said I needed to fast, but no one told me fasting would be this unbearable.

The old scars on my abdomen began to throb faintly. Ever since my kidney was removed, Id been in pain every night, unable to sleep.

The living room lights were already dim. Elara had probably gone to her room to rest after tidying up the kitchen.

The entire house was quiet, except for the rumbling in my stomach and the scattered firecrackers celebrating the New Year in the distance.

I held back for as long as I could, but eventually, I gently pushed open the storage room door. There had to be something to eat in the kitchen, even just a slice of bread.

There was a bowl of soup in the fridge that looked delicious. I swallowed hard.

"Willow?"

Elara's voice came from behind me. I jumped in fright, nearly dropping the bowl.

"Are you hungry?" Elara walked over, looked at me, and her face showed a troubled expression. "But Mrs. Celeste specifically instructed that you need to have blood drawn tomorrow and must fast..."

"Just one sip of soup," I pleaded softly. My stomach let out another loud rumble. "Elara, Im so hungry, my stomach hurts"

Elara hesitated. She looked at the clock on the wall, then at my pale little face and the hand clutching my stomach. Finally, she sighed.

"Just a tiny sip, truly, only a tiny sip. Otherwise, if Mrs. Celeste finds out, I'll be in trouble."

She took the bowl of soup from the fridge, poured a small spoonful into a cup, and heated it in the microwave.

During those few seconds, a rich aroma wafted out. My stomach felt clutched by an invisible hand, and the pain made me bend over.

"Here, drink slowly."

The moment the warm soup flowed down my throat, I almost burst into tears.

I was so hungry, every warm sip felt like salvation. I held the cup, sipping in small gulps, afraid of drinking too fast and running out.

Just then, the sound of keys turning came from the entryway.

Dad and Mom were back with Ava.

Ava was cradled in Dad's arms, her little face buried in his shoulder, breathing steadily. Mom followed behind, carrying Ava's small backpack.

When they saw me standing in the kitchen, holding the cup, their smiles instantly froze.

"Willow? Didn't I tell you to fast?"

Mom rushed over in a few steps, snatching the cup from my hand.

Ava woke up with the commotion. She opened her eyes, saw Mom's furious face, and instinctively shrank further into Dad's embrace.

"Mom..." I looked at her, tears uncontrollably welling up. "I'm really hungry, my stomach hurts so bad..."

I pointed to the side of my abdomen where my kidney was missing. It was throbbing with pain from hunger and cold.

"Why are you in pain? You're doing this on purpose! Are you deliberately eating because you don't want to donate your heart to Ava?"

"No, Mom, I'm really hungry..." I cried out, trying to pull on her sleeve.

Dad frowned, carrying Ava and turning to walk towards the master bedroom.

"Celeste, put Ava to bed first. Don't scare the child."

Mom's finger almost poked my nose.

"Willow, didn't I tell you that as long as you're good, I'll love you? Didn't you promise you'd give your heart to Ava?"

"I promised, I promised, Mom, please don't yell at me, don't abandon me..." I cried, gasping for air.

"You're a liar! You just don't want to save Ava! I raised you for nothing!"

She grabbed my arm, her grip so strong it felt like she was crushing my bones, and dragged me towards the storage room.

A familiar fear washed over me like a tide.

She was going to abandon me, just like the auntie at the orphanage said back then, disobedient children eventually get thrown away.

Mom shoved me roughly into the storage room. I stumbled and fell to the floor, the pain piercing.

"You selfish ingrate, stay here and reflect!"

The storage room door slammed shut, and the familiar darkness enveloped me.

I curled up in the cold corner, my stomach aching with emptiness.

Hunger gnawed at me from the inside, making me shiver and tremble.

What was worse was the itch.

I couldn't help but scratch, my nails leaving red marks on my skin. But the more I scratched, the more it itched, an unbearable itch that made me want to roll on the floor.

"Don't be hungry anymore, Mom doesn't want me anymore..."

I mumbled, digging my fingers hard into my skin.

"A heart transplant will fix it... If I scratch it clean, Mom will come back..."

My nails broke the skin, and warm liquid oozed out. The pain finally overshadowed the itching.

Darkness stole my vision, but it made my other senses incredibly sharp.

I could hear my own heavy breathing, and I could smell the sweet scent of dumplings in the air.

It was New Year's Day; every family must be eating dumplings. I wished I could eat some too.

My consciousness gradually blurred, and I saw that woman again.

On a snowy night, she wore a thin coat, holding a child tightly bundled in her arms.

I couldn't clearly see her face, only remembered that she kept crying, her shoulders shaking violently.

She placed the child on the cold steps and turned to leave.

"Mommy... Mommy..." The child cried out, stretching out tiny hands.

That was me.

One or two years old.

The woman paused for a moment but didn't look back. Snowflakes fell on her head, quickly turning her into a white shadow.

"Mommy, take me with you, I'll be good!"

"Don't leave me... please... don't leave me..."

I cried and chased after her, but her back grew smaller and smaller, finally disappearing into the wind and snow at the street corner.

I knelt in the snow, crying until my throat was hoarse, crying until my whole body was stiff.

Until an auntie from the orphanage came out, dragged me back like garbage, and threw me into that small, windowless dark room.

"What are you crying for? Your mom doesn't want you! Crying won't help!"

The sound of the lock clicking, exactly like tonight.

"No... Mom... don't abandon me..."

I woke up sobbing in my dream, my face wet, unable to tell if it was cold sweat or tears.

It was morning.

I struggled to get up. The scratched wounds had formed thin scabs, tearing with every movement, a ripping pain.

I leaned against the wall, slowly shuffling to the door, and gently pushed it open a crack.

The living room lights were on, and a large plate of white, plump dumplings sat on the dining table.

Ava sat in her special high-backed chair, a few dumplings in a small bowl in front of her. Mom was picking one up, carefully blowing on it to cool it, and putting it to Ava's mouth.

"Here, Ava, open up. These are lucky dumplings. Eat them for a safe and healthy New Year."

Ava obediently opened her mouth, took a bite, and a satisfied smile appeared on her face. "Delicious!"

"If it's delicious, eat more." Dad sat next to her, smiling as he poured Ava a glass of warm milk. "It's New Year's Day today, our Ava needs to eat plenty of fortune."

My gaze was fixed on that plate of dumplings. Hungry, so hungry, I saw black spots before my eyes.

I forgot the pain, forgot last night's punishment, my eyes saw nothing but food.

"Willow?" Dad saw me first, pausing in surprise.

Mom and Ava also turned their heads.

But at that moment, I couldn't care about anything else. All my attention was on the dumpling that had fallen out of Ava's bowl.

Before my fingertips could even touch it, Ava, trying to protect her bowl, accidentally bumped my hand with her arm.

Already weak, I toppled over from her touch, crashing into the dining table and making a mess.

Then, Ava burst into tears, "Wah!" Her eyes instantly flooded.

"My dumplings... my lucky dumplings... they're gone..."

Mom's face turned ashen. She abruptly stood up, and a heavy slap landed on my face.

My head snapped to the side, my ears rang, and half my face was numb with a burning sensation.

"Willow, are you doing this on purpose? You can't stand to see Ava doing well, can you? You even try to snatch Ava's lucky dumplings?"

I cried, shaking my head, my insides clenching with fear.

"I'm so hungry, I want to save Ava, I'll give my heart to Ava, just let me eat something..."

Mom suddenly let out a cold laugh, grabbing me and dragging me towards the door.

"Then let's go to the hospital right now, get the surgery done early! So you won't be an eyesore at home, always thinking about harming Ava!"

The cold morning wind cut like a knife across my face. Dressed in my thin pajamas, I was shoved into the car by Mom.

The car drove towards the hospital.

I was led into a bright room. The doctor, wearing a white coat, looked at me, covered in scratches, and frowned deeply.

"Mr. Marcus, Mrs. Celeste, this child looks at most ten years old, and her body is severely depleted. Do you really want to do a heart compatibility test now?"

"Is the child willing? Have you asked for the child's opinion?"

Mom's face was full of anger. "She's willing."

I found strength from somewhere and dropped to my knees before Mom, tears streaming down my face.

"Dad, Mom, I want to eat lucky dumplings, I want Mom to call me sweetie, I want Mom to love me."

"I want to live past this year too."

I cried, trembling uncontrollably, almost suffocating.

The hospital room instantly fell silent.

Ava, startled by me, shrank into Mom's arms, coughing violently.

"Mom! Does she not want to give me her heart anymore?"

"It's all because of her! Ever since she came to our house, I've been sick, always having surgery. Did she pass her bad luck onto me?"

"Oh, and she stole my lucky dumplings this year, and now she wants to steal my Dad and Mom too!"

Steal?

I abruptly looked up, screaming as if I'd lost my mind, tears mixing with the bloodstains on my face.

"Then who took what was drawn from my spine, who took my kidney, who took my liver from my belly!"

"My body, my organs, my life, aren't they worth anything? Ever since I came here, I've been losing things, always in pain. I never took anything, I gave you everything!"

Another slap, heavier and crueler than before.

This time it was Dad. His big hand roughly grabbed my hair, yanking me up from the floor.

"Willow, your wretched life, from the day you were abandoned at the orphanage entrance, it was worthless!"

"A worthless thing abandoned by her own parents, a good-for-nothing who would eventually starve, freeze, or fall ill and die in an orphanage! Our family took pity on you, pulled you out of that awful place! We gave you food, we gave you clothes!"

"From the day we brought you home, your existence was solely for Ava to live! Now Ava needs your heart, this is your fate, what you owe our family!"

I lay on the ground, my blood frozen.

So that's how it was.

Just because I owed them.

Then I'll pay them back.

I smiled faintly, slowly pushed myself up, and stood shakily.

"Doctor, I voluntarily agree to the surgery. Can we do it now?"

Dad grunted.

"It's about time. Stop stalling and delaying Ava's condition!"

I entered the operating room. Anesthetic slowly spread from the vein on the back of my hand, flowing through my limbs.

The doctor was making the final preparations. I strained to turn my head, looking at the small observation window of the operating room.

Behind the window glass, two shadowy figures stood.

It was Dad and Mom.

They stood side by side, their gaze fixed on Ava, who was on another operating table beside me.

Mom pressed her hands together under her chin, as if praying, Dad's arm was around her shoulder, his lips pressed thin.

From beginning to end, they never looked at me.

Not even once.

The anesthetic's potency grew stronger, and my consciousness began to blur.

The last thing I saw was Mom leaning close to the observation window, nodding vigorously at the doctor inside, her lips seeming to form the words:

"Please, save her."

Then she turned and walked with Dad towards Ava's observation room next door.

Their backs, and the retreating shadow from that snowy night in my memory, completely overlapped at that moment.

I closed my eyes, letting the darkness completely envelop me.

Mom, Dad.

Everything you wanted, I've given back to you.

My bone marrow, my kidney, my liver, and this heart.

This time, we're finally even.

I don't owe you anything anymore.

I don't know how much time passed, but the door opened again.

Outside the operating room, Dad and Mom rushed over as soon as the chief surgeon emerged. The surgeon nodded.

"The surgery was very successful, with almost no rejection."

"This situation is extremely rare in non-blood-related transplants; usually, only direct blood relatives have such perfect tissue compatibility."

The air suddenly froze.

Dad's voice was hoarse as he spoke.

"Direct blood relatives?"